Yes, my oldest daughter texts, posts, and video talks. Yes, she is acutely alert to when it is “time” to renew the wardrobe with a handful of new pieces from the current fashion trends. Yes, this lady often rolls her little brown eyes at my “weird” behaviors. And yes, friends are at the highest of her sharing list these days.
While some parents desire status, monetary reward and upward societal movement with regard to children–none of which are bad per say–beyond those outer pursuits, my deepest heart’s desire for mine can be voiced most succinctly through Shakespeare, “To thine own do it yourself be true. ” EnLIGHTenment at its best.
Not necessarily what I experienced several years back (alright twenty-six years back to be exact) with the tender age of age 14. Recently my daughter and I were discussing irrespective of whether she would attend, once again, some three week all girls’ camp for the junior high summer in a row.
Even though we encouraged all of our infants to try overnight camp at least once, we have told her of the fact that decision to return is now 100 % up to her. As any discussion ensued, I started to be almost mesmerized by her capacity to articulate her vantage point on the subject.
With a palpable gratitude for all with the opportunities and lessons discovered from her previous camp experiences, she began to talk about her deeper thoughts on this kind of subject and beyond. She shared that while camp is touted as a destination to be fully and authentically yourself, create a sisterhood, increase a connection to nature, and explore your core through contemplation and solitude, the point of it all is to come to understand that inner correlation is available anywhere, anytime, and most importantly in the NOW.
Indeed, a typical teenager in so many ways, Except underneath the North Face overcoat and the Ugg boots, behind the gaggle of giddy girlfriends and the fluorescent monitor, and even beyond our seductive family discussions and shared dinners, there lies a self-awareness and interior starting that seems unfathomable for any child her age.
She promised me that she has not been “knocking” camp in any way and may also choose to return, but in the event that she does go back meant for another year or three, it would not be considering that camp experience allows her to feel more unique in any way. Her return would be based on the conscious, bottom (soul) choice to attend considering she enJOYs the experience not because it is a “safe” method to be herself fully on the earth.
The girl went on to give the example of seeing quite clearly that she doesn’t need to go anywhere specific (camp), do anything special (canoe) or be anything several (a camper) to come to feel authentic, open, connected and free. While she unquestionably views camp as a blessing, she knows that the girl with enough just as she is by means of or without camp to make sure you remind her of that inside knowing.
I was truly amazed by her expression in deep wisdom that has utilized many of us divorces, health illnesses, and endless searches through different veins of the outdoor world to figure out. What my own dear girl was saying through the example of summer time camp–one of any likely outer examples–probably resonates with most of us when looked at meticulously.
She even voiced that the songs about sisterhood, respect, and caring, a large number of with a “free to be you” theme, seemed a bit random to her now, showing that while appreciative with the sentiment, she hoped the fact that her fellow campers noticed free to be themselves further than the activities in nature, public cabins, and family eating dinner. In short, everywhere.
We do not need to go somewhere special or do something unusual to live our own truth. Basically, freedom to be comfortable in the own skin should not be preserved for places that we visit three weeks a year. Self-Love can be cultivated in all techniques, always.
Yes, my son has her challenges, the girl’s snarky attitudes, her experiences of self-doubt. Yes, this lady can sometimes be mean to her siblings, sassy to the girl’s parents, generally ornery. Yet nevertheless, underneath it all are ever-expanding and deep cracks of self-awareness, self-love and true empathy for others that will serve not only her, but the world in particular, quite well.